DO SHORT, BALD-HEADED,POTBELLIED MAN HAVE A RISK OF HEART DISEASE ?

Here are two men , the barber and comedian having conversation about the health.

BARBER :

I've noticed your hair is thinning quite a bit on top.

COMEDIAN:

So? Who wants fat hair?

BARBER :

Very funny. But I guess you haven't read the latest issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association. A study out of the Boston University School of Public Health shows that men with bald spots can have more than three times the risk of heart attack as guys with a full head of hair.

COMEDIAN :

You should talk. If your hairline recedes any more, you'll have to start buying floor wax instead Brylcreem

BARBER :

Ah, but the study also says that only a bald spot on top so-called vertex baldness-is the problem. If you're losing hair in front or on the sides, you're probably O.K.

COMEDIAN :

You've got to be kidding How can baldness have anything to do with the heart?

BARBER :

The researchers don't know. It could be that both are related to a common factor-a high level of the male hormone dihydrotestosterone is one plausible culprit. In any case, an editorial in JAMA says the correlation between baldness and heart disease is statistically sound.

COMEDIAN :

I'm not going to worry; I'm only 50.

BARBER :

The men in the study were all under 55.

COMEDIAN :

I want a second opinion.

BARBER :

O.K., you're short too. You know, of course, that a 1991 study at the Harvard Medical School showed that men under 1.7 in have a 60% greater risk of a first heart attack than tall men do.

COMEDIAN :

Watch it, you're starting to get on my nerves! I don't want to blow my stack; I hear that anger is bad for your heart too.

BARBER :

Don't bet on it. A new study at the Mayo Clinic has failed to show any relationship between hostility and heart disease. Nervousness, though ... well, the latest thinking is that emotional stress is not so good.

COMEDIAN :

Listen, I try to take care of my heart. I take my blood-pressure pills religiously. My pressure has dropped way down. Don't tell me that isn't good.

BARBER :

Well, maybe not. Medical researchers at Albert Einstein Medical College demonstrated a few years ago that while a moderate drop in blood pressure can reduce heart-attack risk, a large drop can actually increase it.

COMEDIAN :

At least I've got my weight down.

BARBER :

You're slimmer in the thighs and rear, but you've still got a big potbelly. Yours is the body type associated with a higher risk of heart disease.

COMEDIAN :

O.K., killjoy, how about this? I switched from caffeinated coffee to decaf.

BARBER :

Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Yes, some people say drinking more than five cups of regular coffee can raise your risk of dying from heart disease, but decaf may raise your blood levels of LDL cholesterol, which is bad for the arteries.

COMEDIAN :

Hey, but I've improved my diet: I gave up high-fat liver pate and wine.

BARBER :

Gave them up? Don't you know that people in the south of France eat twice as much pate as anyone else in the country but have the lowest rates of fatal heart disease? The French in general have less heart disease than Americans, though they eat lots of fat and cholesterol. Red wine could be part of the reason.

COMEDIAN :

O.K., O.K., but at least I get a good night's sleep, more than I could say for some of the French.

BARBER :

Sleep's not so safe either. Just last month the New England Journal of Medicine reported that when you're dreaming, the sympathetic nervous system, which helps the body react to emergencies, is twice as active as it is when you're awake. Your heart beats faster, your blood pressure goes up, and your blood can get stickier, so it can clot and cause a heart attack. On the other hand, waking up isn't so great either. Heart attacks occur more often in the morning than at any other time of the day.

COMEDIAN :

Boy, you're a real barrel of laughs. Got any other good news?

BARBER :

You see that crease in your earlobes? A kind of diagonal wrinkle? A University of Chicago physician did a study showing that such a crease may be associated with-you guessed it an increased risk of heart disease

COMEDIAN :

Enough, already. I get it. I'm as good as dead. I might as well give up salad and fish and start eating pastrami and French fries again. I will cut out my daily 5-km walk. I might as well go back to cigarettes too.

BARBER :

What's that? You say you get moderate exercise, eat a low-fat diet and don't smoke? Well, that's another story. Those things make more of a difference to your cardiovascular health than any of the things I was talking about. And besides, most of the studies I mentioned are considered suggestive but not definitive. They could even be wrong. Forget everything I said. Let's try combing some hair over from the side to hide that bald spot.

COMEDIAN :

Now you're talking. I was beginning to think I'd have to see my doctor for a haircut.